Have you finished reading our fourth issue? I'm sorry it had to stop when it did, but we ran out of space and anyway, I expect you can imagine what we got down to later that afternoon! That "nasty-girl" business was just a sort of game that Sabina and Hilary were in the habit of playing, I think - but I don't dare ask Sabina. Hilary finally drove away just before midnight, walking rather delicately, after which Sabina and I barely managed to get back to the bedroom before falling asleep.
Sabina was rather quiet at breakfast the following morning, so I was being annoyingly cheerful, a strategy which would usually earn me that darned 'single glove' (which I used on Hilary on page 17, remember?) and a ball-gag to suck on, but instead she looked up from the letter she was reading, and pushed it in my direction.
"It's from Jeremy," she said. "He says he's leaving Eros, something about a 40-hour working day, but they are happy for our comic to have a letters page, and they want one of us to conduct it for them."
'Well, I'm the one who narrates the stories, with a little literary assistance from Martin," I told her, picking up the letter and its accompanying envelope, with the cute little holographic space stamp on it. "So he must really want me, not my wicked step-rnistress..."
Sabina snorted, and swatted me on the top of my head with the newspaper. "I'll get you for that, shrimplet", she remarked in a rather sharp tone. "But why don't you get to work on our word processor, and give those nice men what they want, eh?
So, here I am, ready to conduct my first letters page. Of course, there is a slight shortage of actual letters to print, but since I am a literary character myself, I ought to be able to find some commerits that are as easily genuine as little me. For a start, let's try this one:
Thank you for the copies of Sabina, Mistress of Escapes. I found them highly enjoyable, and hope there will be many more issues. I particularly like Sabiria's young companion, Bez - but what sort of name is that? Is it her real name, or a nickname, or what?
With Good Wishes,
Thank you for your good wishes, Simon. I hope you can keep a secret if I tell you that my given name was Elizabeth, which can be made into a diminutive in many different ways. My family had decided on Beth, but as a child I had a slight lisp (even now I seldom use the word 'thistle' in conversation), and so I became the easier-to-pronounce'Bez'. Much more recently, I have extrapolated up from Bez to give myself the 'stage name' of Bezique, pronounced Bez-eek, because I think it's rather show-business glitzy, but I have made a problem for myself... Martin would like to put me in a comic of my own from Eros, at least a oneshot, which would of course be called Bezique... but could enough people pronounce it, and feel able to go into their favourite comic store and ask for it by name? Sabina is joking when she calls me 'Bezzy-kew', but that is what the spelling looks like.
Dear Erotic Persons,
I saw and bought a copy of Sabina #3 - great stuff, congratulations to all concerned! However,I can't find any other copies of your wonderful comic locally - is it possible to buy them directly from you? And, while I'm writing, are there any other comics by the same creators you can sell me? Ones featuring glamorous girls putting one another into bondage, preferably!
Gordon H. Bennett
What, us 'glamorous'? I like you, Gordon! You can indeed buy our back issues from Eros Comix, PO. Box 25070, Seattle, WA 98125. The cost of back issues is $2.95 each, plus $.50 shipping. Discretion being our middle name, your comics will arrive in a plain flat box or a Fantagraphics Books envelope. You can even pay by MasterCard or Visa on their toll-free order line: 1-800-657-1100 (they will bill you discreetly as Fantagraphics Books, not 'Eros Kinky Porno Frolix'). Trained operators are standing by to receive your phone call! Before Sabina, Martin and Paul also collaborated on
Barbarienne, of whose four issues only #3 is still available. Since our story crowded out the full-length Eros mail order listing, I will take a little space here to commend some other Eros Comix to your attention. Women on Top isn't a comic, really: think of it as a portfolio in comic format, with lots of gorgeous women tied up (arid doing the tying!), lovingly drawn by Alazar. Mistress of Bondage (3 issues) presents further Alazar artwork, illustrating a torrid tale of two innocent young women thrust into a surnmer of bondage. The down side, at least for me, is that the story brings in vampires/ghosts at the end; some of the illustrations have nothing to do with the tale, or are somewhat randornly scattered through the three issues, so that a picture in #3 may well refer to a scene in #1, or vice versa. Still well worth the money, though! (Ed. Note: The former editor responsible for this mishap has been surnmarily shot; mistakes have been rectified in recent reprints of #s 2 and 3). Some of the very best Eros Comics have been collected into large-sized paperback graphic novels; Terry Hooper and Art Wetherell's 2 Hot Girls is certainly worth that treatment! ($12.95 postpaid). Young Witches ($14.95) is fun too, and Anton's Collected Drek ($16.95), by that chap whose style is uncannily reminiscent of Don Sinipson's work; while we're on reliable, well-known names, check out Bill Willingham's Ironwood Book One ($16.95), and Frank Thorne's Lann ($11.95). Submissive Suzanne (two issues, $2.95 each, plus $30 shipping) is rather enjoyable, as well.
Dear Sabina and Bez,
With your great taste in clothes and interesting hobbies, I find you both irresistable. I wish my girlfriend was like you! In fact I wish I had a girlfriend, but when I so much as mention my collection of handcuffs from around the world, prospective candidates tend to make their excuses andleave.
Now, ladies as charming and intelligent as you must read comics like the rest of us, right? So, how about recommending some of your favorites, both sexy and otherwise?
I like you too, Boris; good luck with expanding your collection! Finding a partner who appreciates handcuffs could be tricky; try them out with a copy of this comic, and if they find what we get up to sexy, take it from there! (Note: this advice is for recreational purposes only, does not apply in Canada, and should not be taken as advocating any form of sexual harassment; void where prohibited by law.)
Hey, of course we read comics! This is the ideal place to plug our friendly rivals at Palliard Press, publishers of Phil Foglio, who pencilled our special pin-up page in #2. Phil's XXXenophile is the aristocrat of sex comics; he writes and pencils every story, while inkers have included Stephen R. Bissette, Kevin Eastman, Donna Barr, and Adam Hughes. At least eight issues are available, at $4.00 each by mail; credit cards are accepted. As with orders for Eros Comix, please include a statement that you are over 18 (and before sending away for stuff, it is only polite to check if your local store can supply you with what you need); the address is Palliard Press, c/o Drearnhaven Books, 1309 4th St SE, Minneapolis, MN 55414-2029; telephone (612) 379-8924. Phil and Palliard have also produced at least three issues of Buck Godot, a wonderfully good-humoured science fiction adventure comic.
More "otherwise" comics that I've been enjoying and would recommend include the wonderful Wandering Star (look for a compilation of the first seven issues, probably out before we are), and Strangers in Paradise, which ended a three-issue run with Antarctic Press and has now gone to self-publishing (despite an offer from Dark Horse), which also has a compilation out... and how about that new Concrete series, and Usagi Yojimbo, and the Ultraverse - and I have a weakness for old Archle comics digests, but everyone is allowed one character flaw, aren't they?
Well, there's just enough room to announce the winner of the "Name This Page" contest. The, victorious title is 'Sez Bez', and the winner, who will be wined and dined off by Sabina and fitted with a costume of Sabina's choice, is me. What do you mean you didn't know there was a contest? Isn't there always? Do I have to tell you guys everything?
Order your Eros Comix from the Seattle address, but if you want to indulge in social intercourse with me on this page, the address to send letters to is 'Sez Bez', c/o Harrier Comics, 33 Chester Road, Northwood, Middlesex, HA6 1BG, England, which is abroad, so you will need to use an "air mail" sticker and pay an overseas air mail rate, or else the post office will bounce your letter straight back to you, or shove it in their sock drawer, and forget about it.
Hey, I've seen the script for Sabina #5! That sounds silly, doesn't it? - like Spider-Man seeing the script for the next issue in advance. "What, I have to fight Doc Ock again?" Sabina #5 is goin to he like #3, in that we are going to make another special movie on video, co-starring Georgina, Michelle, and of course Fiona as Fifi the French Maid. I play the innocent young Elizabeth Smythe-Parker, and Georgina, after her surprise last-minute role in "The Big Picture", is the even more innocent young Georgina Bentley-Talbot. With names like that, we kind of deserve to get chained up in a dungeon, right? A dungeon in the exotic English castle owned by Lady Sabina, naturally! For some reason, I haven't been given the whole script yet, but it all looks rather fun. I am a bit surprised that Georgina has agreed to her part in the story - or maybe she has seen even less of the script than I have...
But now Sabina has come in, casually jingling some rather cold-looking lengths of chain. With any luck, she's going to have to untie me from this chair!